Technawakening

This year will be the end of 74 years of what at one time was a revolutionary technology: kodachrome. Kodachrome was apparently the first commercially successful color film introduced in 1935 and continued to be used as a choice film for millions of photographers for decades. Known for its ability to express colors in a unique manner, it was used to capture some of the most beautiful and profound images in photography. And now it sees its death upon the horizon as Kodak can no longer sustain its production, losing millions each year on it.

I have not had a tremendously deep connection to this technology in my lifetime: it was a technology which saw its peak and steady glide downward occur before my birth. Even so, I have a fondness for the technology and its story. It was the title of a favorite song of mine by Paul Simon. It was the film which so beautifully captured many memories and stories taken by my father which I later enjoyed through long nights of slide projector shows.

So with its death there is also a sense of nostalgia as this incredibly technology is laid to rest, overtaken by the powerful and bold digital age which now captures and stores light more precisely, vividly, and conveniently than film could previously do. We can see how all technology is like this.

Technology is born unto the world like a child. It bursts into our dream of society in the form a fresh idea in the mind of one or a few who actually believe they are its owners. Yet really it is its own being and entity seeking the mind and body of a poor sucker who it tricks into birthing it into the world. The “creator” cradles and nurtures the idea into its maturity as it grows and expands itself into a more mature creation. Eventually, if successful and the timing is right, it will reach the pinnacle of its life and be utilized by millions or billions for a length of time. Often it grows beyond the realm of the creator taking on its own life and spawning other baby creations similar to a child leaving home and starting their own lineage. Think of the silicon transistor in the 50s used to power the first transistor radio. That technology has lead to the digital revolution as we are experiencing it today.

The length of time that technology enjoys its success may be a year, a decade, or a few centuries. If the technology is lucky, it enjoys a long life such as the wheel, the knife, or even the lightbulb. The technology goes through major life changes, reconstruction, and redesign sometimes being totally torn apart only to rise again from the ashes as a different form.

Then comes the day. It’s the day when we all start to see the end of a certain technology’s lifespan in the distant future. It’s knowing that CDs are on their way out the door as you hear about something called an “iPod” even if you’re still buying them. We knew this was coming with Kodachrome and all film as we began seeing digital cameras popup. The technology begins its downward growth cycle (or diminished cycle) until finally it has a big hoorah such as the one Kodak is putting on for Kodachrome – a big party to say farewell.

Do you see how you too are simply a piece of technology? Yes, that’s right – you a human are simply a piece of technology designed by and for the Earth. Currently humans are the latest and greatest technology in a line of creatures the Earth has birthed and raised. They are smart, cunning, resourceful and good at surviving (perhaps too good). And someday the world will develop a more effective technology to take their place, maybe even with their help. What is the purpose of the human as technology? Perhaps only the divine knows for sure. One thing is to continue passing on the information from one generation to another – this is how life continues. Another could be to create emotional energy for the world. Finally, humans may be a great technology for Life to become aware of Life. Whatever the purpose of human technology, we can see that  we too will have an end and will be replaced by something more effective, efficient, and intelligent than ourselves. This is the nature of life and the universe – it is how Life IS and always will be. It is proof that everything changes, always – nothing stays the same. Perhaps this is why love technology – it’s so very dymanic.

For so many years, i am one of the many who has been duped into believing that there was such a thing as “enlightenment.” I envisioned it as this immense treasure to acquire, or more correctly as this goal to accomplishment. Once I had it in my palms, I would be _______ <-fill in the blank: finally wise, finally awake, finally loving, finally confident, finally in love with the world and with self, and finally happy!

The great promise of this. . . state of mind, feeling, or lifestyle (however you view it) is both entrapping and exhausting. Oddly enough, I have heard time and time again from great spiritual teachers not to get trapped by this lie - this promise that enlightenment will save you, change you, or offer you this new preciousness in your life that compares to nothing else. I have heard it hundreds of times, heard spiritual teachers speak of the myth of enlightenment - how it is not the feeling of oneness with the universe that we often imagine it to be, that it does not really change anything, that it is not a grand eternal high. Adyashanti is a master of dispelling the enlightenment myth.

What's interesting is how smart my mind is. It has taken these warnings and simply added it to the database of knowledge about spirituality it was building. "Ok. .got it. I won't look at enlightenment as a big deal, let me remember that. . let me add that to my knowledge" I thought. Meantime, my mind was hoping that such knowledge would get me one step closer to enlightenment.

The story of the Buddha's enlightenment is no doubt one of the most beautiful and screwy that exists. In Old Path, White Clouds, Thich Nhat Hanh writes the most beautiful recount of the Buddha's awakening. After nearly 7 years of trying to reach enlightenment, 7 years of solitude and silence in the wilderness, he finally reaches it one night. Thunder and lighting crash above him, rain falls upon him the darkness of the forest, he feels the presence of poisonous serpents and dangerous creatures surrounding him as he sits with his eyes shut until finally:

"He attained the states of divine sight, divine hearing, and the ability to travel across all distances without moving. It was the end of the third watch and there was no thunder. The clouds rolled back to reveal the bright moon and stars. Gautama felt as though a prison which had confined him for thousands of lifetimes had broken open. Ignorance had been the jailkeeper."

Such a beautiful recount, so powerful, and . . .so out of reach for most of us! The thought of leaving your family behind, living in the forest for 7 years with little food or shelter, and spending day and night in constant meditation to finally awaken is very daunting. It paints a picture of enlightenment as the this incredible achievement and for most of us, that feels like centuries away. I love the Buddha, and yet I wonder if the story of the Buddha's awakening has created just as much confusion in our minds about freedom as it has brought us clarity over the millenniums.

So . . . we live our lives and at a certain point we start to feel as though there is something wrong, there is something missing. We have looked all our lives to external things to fill this emptiness with the acquisition of wealth, power, belongings, lovers, achievements, etc. and hope that such things deliver what they promise. At a certain point for many, but not for all, a feeling of incompleteness still remains after you've succeeded at getting and doing everything you sought. We hear about spirituality and it promises so much! It promises what the world has failed to deliver: peace and contentment. We learn this new concept: freedom, enlightenment, awakening, true happiness, etc. We think, "This is it! If I can just become enlightened, then I will feel complete" Then we begin a long path of searching for the answers, for the solutions, for change within our personal lives.

On this new found path, we start to becoming very strict with ourselves and begin making little goals and regimens for ourselves. It can sound like this within:
-I'm not doing well enough at this, I need to start meditating for at least an hour a day!
-I need to go that spiritual journey / week-long retreat if I expect to make any progress on this path!
-I'm not present enough, I'm going to be more present (dammit!)
-I will stop feeding my addictions: From now on I'm going to change my eating/sleeping/working habits.
-No more fighting with people, from now on
-I need to figure out why I'm so screwed up and start getting things right in my life!
-This is ist for me, there's no way I'm going to become enlightened if I don't stop drinking alcohol / smoking / having sex / eating too much / watching TV / sleeping in. . etc.

I’ve heard nearly all such thoughts pass through my head at one point or another on this “path” and I have fallen for many of them. I have tried to be strict with myself, tried to get it right for myself, tried to work hard, tried to . .well. .tried to become enlightened. All these thoughts have promised that if I did more of this and less of that, it would eventually lead me there. . to this wonderful world of OZ we call freedom.

I am seeing more and more that this is all a bunch of BS. There is no “enlightenment” really. It is simply a word, a sound, something that a few who did not understand called someone like the Buddha after they saw a shift in him. To chase enlightenment is as the donkey who continually walks to get to the carrot hanging a few inches away from his head or the dog who chases her tail. It never comes. . .ever.

Perhaps we hear or read how the Buddha or Jesus acted and put on a show for the world that mimics what we’ve read or seen:”the Buddha never got mad, and neither will I” or “Jesus loved everyone he met, and so must I.”

There is no enlightenment, there is only now and there is only you. You either are yourself or you are a mockery of yourself. You either are authentic and real, or you are full of crap trying to make the crap look and smell beautiful by getting it right for the world, by singing and dancing for everyone around you in hopes that they will pronounce you “enlightened!” and you will finally be special in their eyes, which is what you feared you were not your whole life – the crown of enlightenment is the ultimate treasure of this world, the ultimate possession – and not an ounce of it is real. To be free is to be you – exactly as God made you – that’s it.